Since elementary school, I had lived with selective mutism, which made it difficult for me to speak in certain situations even though I could speak normally otherwise. Because I felt intense anxiety and nervousness around other people, I had never really talked with my classmates, relatives, or even the members of my church. On the outside, I pretended that I preferred being alone and that everything was fine, but deep down, that wasn’t how I felt. Whenever it was time to give a truth presentation or share our reflections, my turn would be skipped, and it always bothered me. I felt lonely, as though I wasn’t truly part of the student group.
Over time, however, my symptoms gradually improved, and once I entered high school, I made tremendous progress. Talking at school and ordering food at restaurants began to feel natural. I even started giving truth presentations online with the other student members. It had taken me three years after joining the student group to give my first presentation, but within just a few months, I was able to give presentations on everything in the sermon preaching book. I also began taking an active part in student group activities. Still, a part of me felt empty and lonely. I wanted so badly to connect with the other members, but whenever we were together, I would just sit there awkwardly, unable to say a word. I felt frustrated with myself.
Then I heard that the Student Bible Preaching Contest was going to be held. As a senior in high school, I felt that this might be my last opportunity to participate in something like this as a member of the student group, so I was determined to take part. Just as practicing sermon presentations had opened the door for me to start communicating with the members in Zion, I believed this contest would also help me grow even further. I opened up to my guidance teacher, saying, “I want to enter the contest and be able to talk with the other sisters too.” My teacher was delighted and proud of me and gave me her wholehearted support.
We decided to choose a topic no one else would, hoping to make a lasting impression. Since I had struggled even to share a brief reflection during student group gatherings, I prayed that I could give my presentation with a calm heart and not be overcome by nerves. Perhaps my prayer was being answered. As I practiced for the contest, I gradually grew closer to the members, and my nervousness began to fade. After I was chosen to represent our church, I also practiced projecting my voice with the assistant overseer deacon and the Student Group guidance teacher. They told me I was doing well, and their encouragement gave me confidence.
When the day of the contest finally arrived, I felt more excited than nervous. Encouraged by the members’ enthusiastic support, I was able to finish my presentation without a hitch. The pastors serving as judges complimented me for delivering such a challenging topic so smoothly.
Although I didn’t receive an award, I felt incredibly proud of myself for overcoming my difficulties and seeing the presentation through to the end.
I had never once imagined myself taking on anything that involved speaking in front of others. But preparing for this contest gave me the confidence to believe, “I can do this too.” When I thought about how I used to shrink back at even the thought of speaking in front of others, I realized just how far I had come. Through this experience, I came to realize that with God’s help, nothing is impossible and that He answers us when we earnestly ask Him. I feel that my faith has grown stronger as well.
Now, at my own pace, I am gradually growing closer to the members. I enjoy talking with them and have come to appreciate the joy of being together. By God’s grace, I have also been blessed with the opportunity to sing in the choir. The first New Song I sang was “May No One Ever Feel Lonely,” and its lyrics seemed to express exactly how I felt. I was deeply moved as I practiced it. Set to a beautiful melody, the song expresses Mother’s words asking us to care for one another and be united in the gospel so that no one is left feeling alone. It brought me great comfort and made me realize, “I am in God’s embrace, moving toward heaven together with the members of Zion. We all share the same goal, so I am no longer alone.” My anxiety and fear gradually faded away, and I even began to envision a future for myself as a gospel worker.
I give thanks to our Heavenly Father and Mother for comforting my soul whenever I felt weary or anxious and for helping me grow so much, both spiritually and personally. I, too, want to become a child of God who takes the initiative to reach out to each and every member and share love with them, so that Zion may be a place where no one feels lonely.